Unpopular Opinion: Why Kids Should Not Be on Social Media Before 16 yo

I know this won’t be a popular stance, but I’m going to say it anyway:

Young people should not be on social media before the age of 16.

Not because I’m trying to be old-fashioned. Not because I want to make life difficult for them.

But because the evidence is now overwhelmingly clear — young minds are simply not equipped for the impact that social media has on their development.

The Evidence Is Clear

Research from the University of North Carolina (2023) shows that early and frequent social media use actually rewires the brain’s reward pathways in adolescents. It makes them hyper-sensitive to likes, views, and online validation.

The U.S. Surgeon General has gone as far as stating that social media poses a “profound risk of harm” to youth mental health.

This isn’t speculation anymore — it’s data.

How Social Media Shapes Young Minds

Kids as young as 10 are sitting around discussing how many likes they’ve got, how many views their post received.

I heard a boy last week proudly tell his brothers:

“My post got 10 likes and 50 views already!”

On one hand it sounds harmless; on the other, we’re watching children link their identity and self-worth to digital approval.

A JAMA Pediatrics study found that the more time 10–14-year-olds spend on social media, the higher their levels of anxiety, depression, and body image issues. Teens who check social media more than 15 times a day are three times more likely to experience mental health struggles.

And the behavioural changes we’re seeing reflect this.

The Behaviours We See Every Day

Parents everywhere will recognise this list:

1. Anger, Meltdowns, and Tantrums When Devices Are Taken Away

Research shows this mirrors withdrawal behaviour — the brain responding the same way it does when an addictive stimulus is removed.

2. Inability to Focus or Engage When They’re on Devices

NIH studies show heavy screen use weakens attention span and executive function.

3. Constant Complaints of “I’m Bored” When Devices Are Restricted

Their dopamine system becomes conditioned to fast-hitting stimulation. Real life feels slow.

This is not “naughty behaviour.”

This is neurochemical conditioning — and their brains are not developed enough to handle it.

Parents Are the Only Gatekeepers

Realistically, there is no safe digital ID solution that won’t eventually be misused.

So the responsibility falls on us as adults.

And that’s the uncomfortable truth.

Many parents don’t want the friction.

We want to be friends with our kids.

We don’t want them feeling left out because “everyone else has it.”

But our job isn’t to make them comfortable — it’s to keep them safe.

Kids need to know themselves, understand themselves, and build an identity offline long before they step into the online world.

The Benefits of Waiting Until 16 Are Huge

Young people who delay smartphones and social media have:

• Higher self-esteem
• Better emotional regulation
• Stronger face-to-face social skills
• Lower rates of anxiety and depression
• Improved academic performance
• Better sleep and recovery
• Less exposure to bullying and predators
• A healthier body image
• A stronger sense of identity based on real experiences
• Higher overall life satisfaction

Research from Stanford’s Wait Until 8th initiative also shows that kids who access phones later are more confident, socially mature, and grounded.

This isn’t about punishment — it’s about preserving childhood.

The “They Need a Phone for Emergencies” Argument

They do need a phone.

But they do not need a smartphone.

Parents can buy a basic phone — even a $79 Nokia — that allows:

• Calls
• Texts

And nothing more.

If safety is the concern, this solves it.

If convenience or avoiding conflict is the concern… that’s on us.

If Your Child Already Has Social Media: Set Boundaries

I believe in strict limits:

• 1 hour per day on weekdays
• Up to 4 hours per day on weekends

And even this is generous.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than 1–2 hours of recreational screen time per day for teens.

Boundaries teach kids to:

• Prioritise
• Self-regulate
• Make decisions
• Accept limitations
• Live with delayed gratification

These are life skills that will serve them well beyond adolescence.

The Hard Truth

We’re going to see the full effect of early social media exposure in the next 10–20 years.

And it’s not going to be pretty.

If we don’t intervene now, we will look back wishing we had done something while we still could.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.